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Maybe this charmer promised a worthwhile future with lofty and romantic words, only to make you feel like those statements were a form of gaslighting when the future arrived.Walfish doesn’t mince words when she describes the type of person who would treat a partner this way, and she notes that once you pinpoint this form of subtle abuse, the first thing to do is to accept it for what it is. "The silent treatment functions to keep the receiver in suspense of what will happen, and unsure of what they did wrong and how bad it is," Walfish says.
Perhaps this person showered you with attention within the initial weeks of meeting, only to disappear and then reappear for no reason at all.
If your gut tells you that something doesn’t feel right, then it’s worth it to delve into those suspicions.
"If your partner is overly charming, blames you for all wrongdoings, and turns your reality upside down to where you question your own sanity, turn and run as fast as you can in the other direction," says Fran Walfish, Psy D, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist.
You may notice that they bark at you for being five minutes late to a date.
Their mask may even slip to the point of unleashing full-on anger at you one night, but be oh-so apologetic the next day.