Dating a borderline male
It’s well documented that we love to turn to a quick fix; drugs, alcohol, binge eating, any risk taking behaviour that fills us up for a second.
Personally, the only thing that gives me true happiness is other people, which is why BPD is a cruel illness – because most people who suffer from it are gregarious, true people lovers, but they struggle to maintain close relationships because of their illness.
As someone who has been in a relationship with a borderline and conversed with self-aware borderlines (here on quora), I think it is very difficult.
The feeling is so wonderful that when they’re gone (albeit maybe only to work for the day), you hit the floor like a rock and back comes that creeping emptiness.They may see you as their favorite person one minute and an evil person the next minute; this is informally called “splitting”.The person may also become clingy or move very, very fast as forming bonds very quickly and having poor boundaries is also a part of BPD.’ – yes, we can and do truly love and care for the person we’re with.In my somewhat limited but quite eventful 26 years of experience, as a person with BPD, the way to make it work with that person is always communication.
Paranoia is a common symptom among people with BPD, and this can blow not replying to a text, because your phone was on silent, into your partner thinking you have been hit by a bus/run away with the circus/are having an affair with your boss, in under 30 minutes.