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Should it be instantaneous, or will it develop over time?How do you get the balance right between not dismissing someone outright without wasting time going on lots of dates with someone with whom you have no spark?About Lori: Lori is a relationship expert and matchmaker who has volunteered as a senior matchmaker for She makes herself available day and night to field questions and share advice on anything and everything, spanning from texting etiquette to proposal planning, and everything in between.Lori has been consulted by and featured in the NY Post, The New York Times Magazine, Martha Stewart Weddings, Glamour, MSN, Bustle, Women’s Health, Philly.com, Brides, Huffington Post, Ask Men and more (@Looking For The One: Hey, thanks for reaching out. It is not settling to give a chance or another chance. When you go on a first date it’s just that; you two are strangers.
Someone you’re dating can tick all the right boxes – right height, good looks, good job etc. At eharmony we match you on compatibility, which is a great predictor of whether a couple will be able to carve out a long lasting, healthy relationship.
This has led us to believe that chemistry should always be instant, but this really isn’t the case.
We’ve lost count of the number of eharmony success couples who’ve told us that on first meeting their match they didn’t think they were suited, and needed a few dates to really feel comfortable.
You don’t need to make a decision so early on whether or not this is “the one.” Take your time – there is no rush.
Don’t worry about your parents calling you saying, “so…are you dating anyone…,” or married friends telling you you’re being too picky.
Try to ignore the pressure we put on ourselves living in a modern orthodox family centric community with its emphasis on marriage at a societally absurd young age, pressuring you to figure out if the person you are dating is the person you are going to marry asap.