Dating emotionally unavailable
He actively pursued you and did his best to woo you. Now, however, you’re feeling him disengaging from the relationship. He may want to deliberately sabotage the relationship so you end it. You feel rejected because he won’t address the problem head-on. In her study of 1,400 divorced individuals over 30 years, Hetherington found that couples who fell into this pattern were more likely to divorce or otherwise separate.
He may disengage in a number of ways, including: And the more he pulls away, the more you move toward him, trying to understand his change in behavior. He is frustrated because he feels like you’re backing him into a corner. Mavis Hetherington, a pioneer explorer of family dynamics, calls this the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern. How to Address This: There is a fine line between a man needing some space to think about his relationship and a man completely disengaging.
Or does he take a superior attitude, thinking he’s better than everyone else, and everyone else is doing things the wrong way?
In general, you want a partner who can empathize with others.
I’m not saying he needs to buy that homeless lady a house, but maybe throw her a few coins and appreciate that she’s down on her luck. He should realize that people make mistakes, and if his waiter gave him the wrong order, politeness would remedy the situation better than anger.
When he sees a homeless woman asking for change at the stoplight, does he say, Is he rude to waiters at restaurants, always demanding things from them? Okay, maybe that’s taking things too far, but my point is: is he compassionate and empathetic to others?Does he clam up or get bitter talking about his exes?Or can he tell you objectively what went wrong, including his role in the situation?So what can you do when every relationship you’re in seems to dead end emotionally? So many women like you have thrown their hands up when they were unable to change a man who just couldn’t open up to them the way they wanted. Don’t we live in a society where men are now encouraged to express their feelings?But here’s a common scenario: these women (and maybe you too) assume that the man will come around, that when he falls in love with them, he will then become emotionally vulnerable. While yes, it’s now more acceptable for men to be emotional or vulnerable, today’s man may not have been raised that way.
You’re looking for respect, politeness, and empathy.