Dating someone with overindulged kids
Overindulged children rarely become grateful when you give them more things; they grow to be more spoiled, demanding, and selfish.Parents then feel unappreciated and become resentful.They knew they were being tough on their daughter, so they looked for ways to love her.They greeted her more often, talked to her more about life, and occasionally gave her a gift.Parents rarely overindulge their children in all areas.They usually show love in one favorite way until it’s overused and they need to find a different way to use the gratefulness button.
Mom may need to set some limits on her instant availability and look for other ways to spark Cara’s gratitude.Be careful, though, that you don’t confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap.Some parents, wanting their children to like them, recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it by giving them too many things.One dad told us he and his wife had given fourteen-year-old Gracie a cell phone, a computer, a late curfew, lots of clothes, and freedom to choose many of her own activities.We helped these parents see Gracie was making some unwise choices and becoming demanding.
Giving to your kids must be tied into relationship, or the gifts feed selfishness instead of gratefulness. They’re demanding, self-centered, and treat me like dirt,” said Donna, who sat in our office, frustrated. “My kids only think about themselves and what they want.