Dating with a mastectomy
Here are some suggestions on how to ease into the dating world again after your diagnosis and treatment: Finding a suitable and available companion is always a challenge, but there are enough success stories to keep up hope, to take action, and make things happen.There ARE quality single people out there looking for relationships.Renee told Burt about her cancer history on their first date, including the fact that it was unlikely she could have children. "I worked through my fears with him — and they disappeared from my head when we had sex.Sexy lingerie helped me feel confident and attractive," she says. You don't have to wear a sign that says "I've had breast cancer," and you don't have to bring it up until you are ready and feel you have some stake in a relationship.My wallet sobs, but my wardrobe has never been happier.If a guy has a sense of humor, I don’t hesitate to bring up the tummy tuck possibility.
This is definitely a glamorization of a DIEP/TRAM flap procedure, and I don’t mention the arduous recovery process, which I saw firsthand with my mom, but hey—it could be seen as a positive.
When it comes to talking about the actual mastectomy surgery, I start with a basic “I replaced the stuffing on my boobs.” I then elaborate with a much more scientifically backed “I took out the potentially bad tissue and replaced it with implants.” (I think that’s what they write in the medical journals, right?
) I avoid discussing the thrilling experience of emptying the bloody goo out of my Jackson Pratt drains, the pathetic feeling of not being able to lift myself up out of bed to shuffle to the bathroom, and the crippling fear of “Oh my god, are my nipples going to make it out of this alive?!
I’m not encouraging you to avoid it and I’m certainly not asking you to lie, but there are some details you can share, and there are some that you might consider keeping between yourself, your family and your doctors.
If a guy wants to know about my BRCA mutation, I give him a quick overview of how I came to be tested for the mutation.
I don’t focus on the exact meaning of a BRCA2 6056del C mutation (which I’d be lying if I said I fully understand), nor do I obsess over the statistics associated with a BRCA mutation.