When you see an article written by "Deep Nerd" really it has been written by all of us, the collective majority that gets it.
Love is greater than hate and it looks a lot better coming out of your mouth and living in your heart.
In the past, couples used to live in their parent’s homes or on their own while in a relationship.
It was not until they were engaged or married they would move in together. Personally, it’s like taking a test drive and knowing whether you can deal with your significant other before taking the ultimate plunge, marriage.
Then when the power died after about five hours, you pulled the phone with the cord into your room. We have dating apps like Tinder that allow us to automatically decide whether you want to swipe left (not your type) or right (totally your type).
I just could never understand how you would decipher a text message if you cannot hear the tone in their voice. Millennials expect instant gratification with arguments, discussions, seeing someone’s photo, finding a mate, and so much more.
You’ve been programmed to believe the person in front of you is a kind of checklist. Worse, you might repeat the same mistakes you made in your last relationship. You just want to find “the one”, and you deserve to. When somebody you like flirts with you, when you have a new crush, when you start to fall for someone, it stirs your soul. Would you want a long-term partnership that consisted of unsatisfying exchanges: small talk, cautiousness, testing, pretending, withholding? So why would you want a short-term partnership that’s made of that stuff? You can’t wait around for the relationship to develop slowly over time.
Check off enough items and you’ve got a shot at a fulfilling relationship. When you get close enough to someone, everything changes. If you want to fulfill the quest, you’ll need to change the rules. They have the same feeling about you, that you’ve got something just for them. It will be your only opportunity to find out what you’re meant to discover together.
If you’ve been dating to get a partner, you’ve been lying. When you got fooled into believing that the purpose of dating was to land a partner, you learned to date by a set of implicit rules. Maybe it’s in the way they inhabit their body, or in how they look at you.
I don’t care how good you are, how honest, or how noble. The real problem is that you’re postponing, sacrificing the date that’s happening now on the altar of potential future partnership. Everything frustrating, discouraging, and disappointing about dating comes from this future-orientation. You don’t need to organize your dates around a possible future. As a result, they can feel what’s beautiful about you. Creating intimacy is a skill you can get better and better at. Something about the way they move through the world, or something they can see that you can’t.