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The whole conversation felt like one long dare to prod me into asking if he’d slept around on his ex-wife. “Let’s go to dinner,” he said, squeezing me close as we parted. We take pride in creating fine, handcrafted chocolates and confections using the very best ingredients.I sat at a Starbucks near the Galleria with a friendly, fit black man (I’m white) who was recently divorced and lived in The Colony, which sounded to me like some eerie sci-fi TV drama. But he didn’t contact me again, and I never knew why. I was a real adult, a grown-ass woman, and he was in that shaky place where you have just emerged from the long tunnel of commitment with wobbly legs and blinking eyes, and you need to go bang 25-year-olds for a while.He told me he liked the show , the unofficial bible for polyamorists, endorsed by “Savage Love” columnist Dan Savage. I got mad at a guy in college because he liked porn. But I was young, and I was righteous, and I couldn’t forgive any man for failing to be John Cusack (who probably also likes porn). For all my groaning about the city’s men, the guys I met were not the same old stereotype.D., just moved here from Portland, don’t believe in the gender binary. You never know who is going to lunge from the bushes and throw a canvas bag over your heart.What I needed to do was create my own Fediverse friendly PHP framework, then use that to build Amore. Federama is meant to provide a bare minimum of Activity Pub functionality.

On the dating site where I’d met D., I’d scroll through pages of men wearing button-downs with tasteful goatees and Oakleys perched atop their gelled hair. In response to the prompt “What people usually notice about me,” he had put, “Tits.” He had a backpacker scruffiness, which I liked. When we met at the bar, he hugged me as I went for his hand. ” he said, running his fingers over his flat chest. “They’re magnificent.” I joined the dating site about a year ago, a few months after I moved back to town. I liked them, but not enough, and I was growing frustrated by the come-ons that arrived in my inbox from another random dude holding a cell phone up to a bathroom mirror. ” Or: “Greetings from Tulsa.” Some days I got so sick of it that I considered handing out flyers at the Pearl Cup: “38, writer, I promise you will never be bored.” But instead, I would force myself into the awkward singles bar of that damn website, and I would banter with the men who wrote in complete sentences and showed some flair, and I would find myself driving out to Colleyville, to a bowling alley in Garland, to a Mexican restaurant in the Preston Forest Shopping Center.

They were walking with God and loving the Cowboys and reading . I had met one extravagant phony in that time, but he was such a good story that I didn’t mind. I might not find love, but, hey, maybe I’d get to know Dallas better.

They’ll make someone a good boyfriend one day, just not me. And for all my groaning about the city’s men, the guys I met were not the same old stereotype.

While working on Amore 0.3, I became aware of other projects that were supposed to make it easy for PHP projects to connect to the Fediverse.

As I looked through their code and read their (sparse) documentation, it was apparent those projects wouldn’t work for me.

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There are a growing number of websites that are federated and interconnected, on top of the thousands that already do so, so leaving the Big Tech companies behind becomes less of an issue.

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