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Beaton would advise people who are upset when their exes move on: "Put this person in your past where he belongs, think of what you've learned from the experience, and get busy finding another partner who appreciates you."Your ex did not get an upgrade.The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning.The fact that you broke up wasn't a failure on your part; things just didn't work out, and they might not work out with this new person either. People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason. Your ex's new significant other is not your replacement.Your ex moving on is not a testament to your inadequacy. Your relationship was unique and special and nothing can ever take away from that.Those couples who live in such a sweet loving marriage never consider cheating.Not because it is immoral, but because their hearts minds and souls are so full of love that the thought never enters into their mind. The other reasons, which follow, are trite in comparison. Is it because he is a “two timing so-and-so who should rot in hell”? Those few are cursed with true mental disorders, or are evil (a hard bar to reach).Instead of getting swallowed up by the magnitude of his betrayal, let’s make it My ONLY desire is to help you get your marriage back, and we are very good at that.
If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else first.But even if it changed the dynamics of our relationship a bit, it didn't change how he felt.Getting into relationships in the past at least hasn't changed the way cared about my exes.His straying is a wake up call, or a death knell; that is up to you.Do nothing positive and proactive and your marriage will keep getting worse; guaranteed.
If anything, it has helped me know that my friendships with exes were genuine and not ploys to get back together.